I used to say that I loved to write (especially for this blog).
But the truth was, and still is, I don’t always. Not exactly.
Sometimes it’s like beating a piñata with a stick at a party. A hot sweaty embarrassing mess with very little to show for all that effort.
There are days when those feelings pass and I get into the flow of it. There are days when they don’t. And that’s when I need wine.
I thought of this when I happened to catch an interview with Adele on TV the other night.
Multiple Grammy-award, Brit award and Academy award winning, on her way to becoming a billionaire by 30, Adele.
She opens her mouth to sing and the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.
If anyone loves their job surely it would have to be her.
Yet this is how she describes it.
I get really nervous. It doesn’t feel that comfortable being on the stage with a massive spotlight with people wanting to be entertained. I never think I’m going to live up to it.
And then this.
I love it afterwards. Once the show’s finished, I love it.
It’s rare to hear a performer speaking so candidly about how it feels to reveal your work, and yourself, in such a public way.
I thought to myself, well if Adele’s scared shitless, maybe the rest of us shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves.
I also thought that maybe doing great work was never meant to be fun in itself, whether it’s creating art like Adele, or doing something a little more mundane like the rest of us.
Work is meant to be messy and painful sometimes. That’s why it’s called work. It’s ok to feel frustrated and unsure when you’re doing or creating something you care about.
So maybe it’s time to change the conversation around ‘doing what you love’.
Because what really matters is how you feel when you get off the stage.
How do you feel about your work?