1) I’m too old and no one will want to hire me:-(
2) I can’t earn decent money doing what I love.
3) I don’t have enough time to study/attend interviews/figure out what I really want to do.
4) My life is already too stressful. I haven’t got the energy to focus on changing my job.
5) The industry I want to work in is full of low-paid workers in casual employment.
6) The job market is too competitive.
7) If I started my own business I wouldn’t have a consistent income.
8) I’m not an expert in anything.
9) I can’t change my job because I have a mortgage and kids.
10) The field I’m interested in is too political/specialised/hard to break into.
11) My husband/wife/mother wouldn’t like it if I went back to study.
12) Someone else deserves the job/promotion more than I do.
13) I haven’t worked hard enough for it.
14) There are no opportunities for someone like me. You need experience/a higher degree/more confidence.
15) I wouldn’t want to work 60 hour weeks and all the social workers/lawyers/business owners I know work those hours
16) The economy is in a downturn so I should hang on to the job I have until things improve.
17) I want to be in a senior role but I don’t want to manage a team or take on more responsibility.
18) It would take too long to retrain, and then I would be too old (see pt 1 above).
19) You need to be really aggressive / cut-throat to make it in that industry.
20) I’d have to take a pay cut.
21) I don’t know if I would really like it.
22) I don’t know what to do.
23) I should probably wait until the kids go to college/my husband gets a better job/we move house/I win the lottery…
Do you recognise any excuses on this list?
The first step towards making any change in your life is getting honest and real about what’s stopping you (hint: it usually has a lot more to do with what’s going on between your ears than reality).
As Woody Allen has said, 80 per cent of success is showing up.
What will you show up for today?
PS: If you want to get over your objections and create a viable plan for your future I can help. You can book your Free Discovery Session here to chat with me first, or book your Single Shot Coaching Session here.
It’s hard to believe we’ve already passed the midway point of the year. Have you taken your nose off the grindstone long enough to notice?
If not I want you to take a breather for a minute and read on, because with the full moon in Capricorn this week the energy is perfect for a mid year review of your goals. It’s time to reflect, regroup and step back from what you’ve been doing to see what’s working and what’s not.
Here are 8 questions to help you renew your focus for the second half of the year.
1) What do you want to create more of in your life right now? What do you most want to feel, have or experience this year?
2) What do you want to preserve in your life or keep doing because it’s profitable, working for you or just plain fun?
3) What do you need to eliminate, stop doing or cut from your schedule?
4) What (or who) is making your life difficult or frustrating and why? Is it something you can easily resolve e.g. buy a new laptop, move house. Or is it something you need to work on accepting?
5) What is the best thing you’ve done all year? The thing you’re most proud of? How can you create more of this in your life?
6) What do you need to forgive or let go of?
7) What do you need to accept right now? About your circumstances? Your skills? Your place of work? Yourself?
8) What are you deeply grateful for in your life? Who do you need to thank?
Review your goals from earlier this year. What needs to change? Riff on your answers in your journal. Review and refine as you go. Remember you still have over 5 months left til the end of the year, plenty of time to bring your plans to fruition and create more of the life you want 🙂
PS: If you want to do a complete reevaluation of your goals, you should join us next month for the Goals with Soul Desire Map Workshop in Prahran. Go here for all the details, I’d love to see you there!
What we know matters but who we are matters more. ~ Brene Brown
This blog post was first published on The Firebrand Talent Blog.
It’s been over a decade since I got my first job as a journalist for a local newspaper. At the time I was thrilled but also baffled as to how I had landed such a sought-after gig. For a long time I lived with the constant fear that someone would tap me on the shoulder and say: What are you doing here and who let you in? You’re not a journalist!
That feeling that you’re about to be found out – also known as imposter syndrome is very common, particularly among women. It tends to rear its head when we’re in transition, starting a new job, a new career move or taking on more responsibility.
For me, imposter syndrome had a major impact on my work performance, my confidence and my career satisfaction. The funny thing was when I shared how I felt with a couple of my colleagues, they told me they felt like imposters too! It made me realise I had wasted a lot of time feeling inadequate for no reason.
This feeling of not being ready or good enough can really hinder your success unless you catch it before it spirals out of control. How can you pursue bigger and better opportunities if you’re convinced you don’t have what it takes?
Here are 3 ways you can tackle this and get over imposter syndrome or the feeling of not being ‘ready’ for a career move:
1) Get out and talk to people
When you’ve been in a job for a while, you can get a bit one-eyed and start to believe everyone in your industry thinks the same way, when of course that’s not true. Meeting new people and networking will give you a much broader and more objective view of your skills and what you have to offer. You might find that other hiring managers’ opinions of your knowledge and experience differ greatly from those at your current workplace. When you start connecting and talking to people it’s also going to become obvious just how much opportunity is actually out there which will (hopefully) boost your confidence.
2) Get real about your fears about a career move
Next you need to get real with yourself. What are you really afraid of? From what I’ve observed in myself and others, this feeling of not being ready stems from a fear of what other people will think. Peers, clients, managers and co-workers. What will they think if you have the nerve to go for an opportunity that on some level you feel you haven’t earned yet? This is why it’s so important to unhook from any need from approval from others. A lot of the time it’s not going to be forthcoming in any event. What you think about what you’re doing is much more important. Sure, other people may be triggered by your actions, but that just reflects their own fears and has nothing to do with you.
3) Practice kindness and self-love
The next step is to pour on the love. The only antidote to feeling insecure and fearful is to give yourself a break. Tune out your inner critic. Love yourself through the changes and accept your limitations for what they are – a temporary state of affairs.
I get that it’s not always easy to do especially if you’re a perfectionist, but the good news is the more you practice being kind to yourself the easier it gets and mercifully, the less influence your inner critic will have over your decisions.
No one is perfect no matter what you see on the surface and your success in the end won’t be based on whether you have a smooth transition into a new role, but on how you handle the inevitable challenges you face day to day.
Even if you don’t have much experience in your industry, you still have value to offer in your next career move. Employers don’t hire you solely based on your experience, they hire you for the person that you are.
So if you worry that you’re not good enough, remember the contribution you can make goes far beyond anything it might say on your resume.
How do you handle that feeling of not being ‘good enough’ for your next career move?
I know you’ve been there too. It feels like pushing a giant boulder up a hill. You keep pushing even though you feel burdened and trapped. You can’t see any option but to keep going. If you stop you’ll just get flattened by that damned boulder. You can’t even complain because you have no one to blame but yourself.
After months, even years of this, you wake up and see clearly for the first time, that freedom is just one decision away. It’s been there all along. You couldn’t see it before because you were too busy doing what you felt you should, ought, must do.
Like those times when you:
Let someone else dictate your schedule or agenda without question or pushback.
Stopped yourself from pressing publish or send because you were too afraid of what your peers and colleagues might think.
Followed someone else’s advice because you didn’t trust yourself enough to forge your own path.
We humans are hardwired to please and I believe unfailingly in generosity, collaboration and taking the opinions of others on board, but there’s something I’ve learned the deep dark hard way.
If you don’t honour your desires, then you’re in no position to serve others.
To be really useful, you must give from a full cup.
I’m not talking about getting enough rest or ‘me’ time, although that’s important too. I’m talking about saying yes to the projects that are calling out to you, honouring the commitments you make to yourself (yes including a new career), and most of all, allowing more joy into your tightly scheduled work life.
The rewards for following the call of your heart are great even when decisions feel tough in the moment.
Because no one ever achieved their dreams by pleasing others or avoiding letting them down at all costs.
The good news is you won’t be doing any of this alone.
When you honour your desires you get to co-create with the universe, God, spirit, source – whatever name resonates – in all that you do.
This amazing power source is always available to you.
The question is: are you going to work with it, or keep pushing it away like that annoying boulder?
If you get all caught up with the things that are right in front of you. You may lose sight of what’s important – Pokémon
I don’t always admit it, but I’m a high achieving goal-driven person, always pushing towards the next challenge so that I can learn more, do more and be more. Can you relate?
I love to say yes, to new experiences, challenges and truth be told, to people.
While it’s true that saying yes to experiences that scare you is a rapid path to growth, as I am constantly learning, you also have to be ruthless about what you take on.
The trouble starts when you say yes and feel that you have to keep saying yes because now you’ve created an expectation. This happens with bosses, friends, acquaintances and family members. It’s not just me. I see my friends fall into this trap all the time.
You get asked to help because you’re a team player, dependable and reliable. And that feels gratifying on some level doesn’t it?
But of course if you’re not careful you can end up serving someone else’s agenda and losing sight of what’s important to you and that’s a high price to pay to avoid offending people.
You may not always feel as though you’re in control of your schedule but that’s an illusion. Even when you have a lot of people making demands, legitimately and otherwise on your time, you still get the final say.
Last week I spent almost a full day trying to record some content for a course that I was midway through creating. By the end of the day I was exhausted with little to show for it. I was pushing the proverbial boulder up a hill and it felt like it had rebounded and flattened me in the process. I realised that the reason I was finding my work so hard was that I hadn’t taken much time off lately.
I love what I do but I’m not going to be much use to anyone if I’m a burned out exhausted mess.
So I got out my planner and took stock.
I asked myself these questions:
How do I want to feel when it comes to my career?
What do I need to prioritise to feel that way?
If the opinions and judgements of others didn’t matter would I still prioritise the same things?
I rescheduled everything. New space opened up. I felt lighter and clearer than I had in months.
It’s true that I have to let some people down and this is hard on the helper bee, people-pleasing part of myself. But I’m also honouring my commitments, albeit some of them a little later than anticipated.
Most importantly though I’m honouring myself. Because I want to feel inspired, devoted and connected in my work, focused on what’s important and not exhausted from trying to achieve what’s in front of me.
Are you focused on what’s important?
Psst: If you’re tired of constantly chasing goals that leave you feeling unfulfilled, it might be because you were setting the wrong goals to begin with. I’m giving a Career Planning workshop, incorporating Danielle LaPorte’s The Desire Map, a guide to creating goals with soul. Understanding how you want to feel will give you a renewed clarity on the goals that are truly important to you. The first workshop will be held in Melbourne in July. Hop on this list to be notified of dates.